Hibernation

A week ago or so, a friend told me that someone else (an acquaintance of mine) assumed that since I had dropped out (I like to call it “letting go”) of so many things that I used to be involved with – I won’t bore you with the list, but, really, it was crazy – that I had cancer again and that it was BAD. Yes, I am a cancer survivor, but I am very well. It has been almost 10 years since my diagnosis (the 10 year anniversary of that lucky day when I was in a car accident that led to an xray which revealed tumors filling my chest is coming up in just a couple of weeks…wow). Thank you very much for the concern. I really do appreciate it. And I do recognize that I was doing way too much these past several years. But, no I am not sick. In fact, I am very, very healthy.

For the past couple of months, I’ve been in hibernation. I’ve been slowing down a lot. In a good way. Reconnecting with my home, my family, NOT spending hours sucked into my computer, but spending “quality time” with my family and with…myself. So maybe it has been hibernation from the online world and from the world of volunteering for this, that and the other thing. And it feels GOOD.

I’ve been doing some cleansing too – of the body, home and soul. I am feeling lighter every day.

I really did intend to write every day on this blog in December and do the #reverb10 prompts (which I really, really like), but then more powerful intentions took over and I just went with it. I have been writing, just not publicly. I’ve been journaling and taking notes. I’m taking a class in Ayurvedic living (yoga off the mat) and am immersing in Anusara yoga. I have been working (as a lawyer for a tech company) – not a ton, just a perfect amount. I’m not taking on new clients. My intentions for life are stronger than they’ve ever been. My kids are happier. My house is more in order.

On this blog, I won’t be writing anything remotely commercial any longer. I’ve taken down some links (I’ve kept some) and I hope it cleans it up a bit. I’ll likely do some more cleaning. The clutter of a busy online life has added to the STUFF in my life. I am changing things up. I’m not sure exactly where it will all go, but it is changing. I am going super simple, simple, simple.

Let Go – #Reverb10

Kristin von Ogtrop's book about working moms, 'Just Let Me Lie Down'

December 5 – Let Go

Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

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This year I have let go of overcommitment, of busy-ness.

For the past six years I have been going crazy a bit.

I have been on the board of one organization or another. I have worked part-time (and sometimes full-time) from my home and cafes all over Silicon Valley. I have said yes to this project and that speaking engagement and to bringing the snack.

I have worked hard and learned a lot, but also made many friends. These organizations and commitments have been a big part of my community, especially since I have had kids.

But…I needed a break.

Last spring I had lunch with Kristin van Ogtrop, the editor of Real Simple magazine, as part of a Silicon Valley Moms Blog Book Club event. She was talking about her new book “Just Let Me Lie Down.” As much as I resonated with things Kristin talks about in her book from a working mom perspective, she said something that day that struck me as a way I do not want to live my life. She said something along the lines of having to give up friends, as her life was too busy.

I nodded, but my brow furrowed. What happened to my friends? I mean, really happened? What time did I have for them? Life HAD gotten too busy.

This was a sad, sad statement to me.

So I let go of a lot of things this year in order to claim some time and sanity back for myself and for my family.

Some were hard to give up – being on the board of my kids’ preschool, for instance. I love those people and I liked being a part of shaping what our school would be up to. But I decided I could do that in other ways. It is Ava’s last year at Explorer and I want to just soak it up and be there as a “regular” parent. I’m enjoying my time with my school friends without the added responsibilities of board work.

I’m much happier for letting go. And for getting back.

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This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Writing – #Reverb10

Stats from a post I wrote on 750words.com about Poison Oak - http://metooyoublog.com/2010/08/31/756-words-about-poison-oak/

December 2 – Writing.

What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

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Picking the kids up from school, taking them to school, washing their hair, helping them with their homework, working in their classroom. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Dishes. Sweeping. Work. Email. Contract review. Reading books for book club.

Basically, I have very, very, very little time to myself. I wake up to a noisy house with tons of things going on, to get done, to clean up, to prepare, to be on top of. I am never ahead. I never have “free” time. Once the day starts, I am basically screwed.

I have eliminated a lot of obligations that are non-essential over the past year. I had said yes to so many things, things I wanted to do, that were important….but really were not essential. But still, such busy days.

I would like to MAKE TIME for writing each day. Jeff just started being in charge of the morning scramble to get everyone out to door to school, so that I can have some time to myself each morning. This is where that time can come from.

I have felt the need to fill up that time with an hour of quiet work (not writing, but work that I get paid for….ah, the bottom line), but I really need to have this time for myself. And be selfish and insistent upon it. Get up early (6:30 maybe), go for a walk or run, sit quietly for 15 minutes and then write for 30 minutes. Every morning. I think I can do it. I know I can.

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This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

A kitchen connection

Potluck at my place for The Earthbound Cook. Photo by Jane Maynard, This Week for Dinner.

I have been doing a lot of work in the kitchen lately. And by work I don’t mean putting on gray trousers and heading to My Cube – although that is a new thing in my life lately. Last week I headed back to an Office – not Starbucks or my dining room table or my car – to work as part-time corporate counsel for a tech company. It isn’t new work for me, per se, as I’ve been doing outsourced general counsel work for companies in my solo law practice for almost 7 years now. But physically going into an office on a regular basis, having a corporate email account (and an IT guy!), an ID card, a nameplate, a printer in a room full of printers…it is so strangely familiar. It is odd. I feel a bit giddy about it, I suppose. Though I have loved being an entreprenuer, I need a little less drama in my life (and a little more paycheck too, I have to admit!). I feel at home, even though…I’m not.

AT home, the work I have been doing in my kitchen has been evolving. I used to hate cooking and now I love it, love it. Cookbooks? I never used them. Now I am devouring them. Even making my own (meaning I rip pages out of magazines or print them out from recipe sites and put them in a binder…very low tech and lame, but hey its convenient when meal planning).

The Earthbound Cook by Myra Goodman

Last week, I was thrilled to host the first (of many, I hope!) Cookbook Club, a coming together of my book club at From Left to Write and a new cooking club of my friend Jane’s, who writes the awesome blog This Week for Dinner (yes, her recipes are definitely in my binder! Pesto tortellini soup for example…love). About 30 women packed themselves into my (tiny) Silicon Valley house and potlucked, each bringing a dish made from the cookbook The Earthbound Cook by Myra Goodman, co-founder of Earthbound Farms (located in nearby Carmel – a gorgeous spot). I made the Tri-Color Potato Salad – it is so good that I think I might bring it to Thanksgiving dinner next week.I know, potato salad feels like a summer dish, but with all of the green beans, it screams turkey day to me.

Tri Color Potato Salad from "The Earthbound Cook" by Myra Goodman

Wow, these women brought it! Such amazing food and company. I have to say that The Earthbound Cook is truly a wealth of great recipes. Not only that, but author Myra Goodman also spent time informing her readers about cooking with the earth in mind. It is not just about buying organic, but about conservation – what does it really mean to compost, to use cloth napkins (we did at the potluck and I’m inspired to switch at home too), to enjoy your food, to feel a connection to the earth in your kitchen.

Silicon Valley potluck for The Earthbound Cook. Photo by Linda De Los Reyes, Solheim Photography

Coming off of the fall cleanse through Yogahealer that I did a few weeks ago, recipes like the ones from The Earthbound Cook are helping me stay on track with living foods. I definitely don’t eat 100% nutritious, healthy, organic food, but I am a lot closer than I was a year ago. And sharing the connection with friends makes it that much sweeter.

Until the next cookbook club…

Disclosure: I received a free copy of The Earthbound Cook by Myra Goodman for the From Left to Write Book Club, a virtual blogging book club that I founded last June and which now has over 100 amazing bloggers participating. I was not obligated to write about the book and all opinions are my own.

If you are interested in joining the virtual book club site From Left to Write, please contact me. From Left to Write holds regular book clubs, writing not book reviews, but our own stories that are inspired by the books we read.

Visibility

Following Polly by Karen Bergreen

I wish I had photos of the bloggers from From Left to Write with Karen Bergreen, author of Following Polly, one of our From Left to Write book club selections for September. That gathering was the highlight of my BlogHer’10 experience, hands down. THE highlight, even though 1 hour prior to meeting the twenty or so bloggers/From Left to Write book club members at the Flatotel, I had dropped my iPhone into…ahem, some water… and had to make a run to the Apple store to get a new one (turns out I was eligible for a new phone, so it only cost me a $100, not bad considering). I loved the intimacy of it and the fact that people showed up even though I wasn’t buying drinks (no sponsor here!). Please note that I am not a schmuck — I DID buy Karen and her agent a drink and I sprung for some lovely cheese plates.

Although @garza_girl tried (she’s an amazing photographer), the lighting was terrible inside the swank NYC lobby/bar. I should have brought everyone outside, but….ah well, it will have to just live in my memory.

Thank you, Darryle Pollack, who hooked me up with Karen and recommended this book.

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When I was about 12 years old, my family and I were househunting. I don’t remember which city, since we moved around quite a bit when I was growing up. We lived in Seattle until my sister and I were about 8, then moved across the country to Atlanta, Georgia for a couple of years, then to Dallas, Texas for a couple of years, and then Boulder, Colorado for our junior high and high school years. So maybe it was our trip to Boulder a few months before we were slated to move.

I loved touring these houses. Looking into people’s living rooms, bathrooms, bedrooms. Fascinating. I especially liked being able to go into kids’ rooms. Rooms where I might someday live. But for now, it had other people’s STUFF in it. Wow. Of course, we were respectful and our parents made sure we didn’t snoop (well….overly snoop in any case), but I so looked forward to our little tours.

In college, my sister and I housesat at a gorgeous house in the Berkeley hills. Estate, might be the right term. We slept in “the boys’ room.” The boys were in college and their room was decorated in very high school varsity manner. Actually quite devoid of personality. How disappointing.

This would be a hard aspect of ever selling my house. The visibility of having all of my house open to see. Not that I’m hiding anything! But we’ve lived in the same house for almost 8 years now, the first home we ever bought, so I haven’t had the experience of having other people snoop around in MY house. Well, I take that back. I have had babysitters, so I’m sure that’s happened.

Guess I better stay happy with my little 1150 square foot itsy bitsy teeny weeny Silicon Valley house. Would a NYC apartment be larger?

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Disclosure: I received a free copy of Following Polly by Karen Bergreen for the From Left to Write Book Club that I founded as a continuation of the SV Moms Group Book Club after founding that book club and serving as the book club editor for SV Moms Group for two years. I was not obligated to write about the book and all opinions are my own.

If you are interested in joining the virtual book club site From Left to Write, please contact me. From Left to Write holds regular book clubs, writing not book reviews, but our own stories that are inspired by the books we read.

Disclosure #2: I was sponsored by eBay Classifieds to attend BlogHer ’10 as part of my role as an eBay Classifieds Ambassador.  eBay Classifieds is not affiliated with From Left to Write.

756 words about Poison Oak

I discovered a great site yesterday, via a tweet from Gwen Bell. 750words.com. The concept is simple. Write 750 words private (or share it if you like), unfiltered, spontaneous, daily.

Once you finish, your writing in analyzed and you get some pretty graphs and points. POINTS! PRETTY PICTURES! Yes, I am like a child and am easily pleased and feel rewarded.

Today I wrote about how I came home with poison oak following a lovely weekend of camping at Costanoa, located on Highway 1 between Santa Cruz and Half Moon Bay. Very lovely. I will share pictures soon, but for now, some PRETTY GRAPHS!

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I thought I could control the itch. Outsmart it. Lay low. Ignore the burning, crawling sensations that I feel constantly on the backs of my legs, my back, my upper lip.

Poison oak. Its back again.

This weekend was a wonderful time camping. Ah, Costanoa Lodge and Resort, you are lovely. But, somewhere, lurking is poison oak. Actually, it is not lurking at all. On our hike to the beach, the path was thick with walls of red-and-green-leaves-of-three. I side stepped all of it, my long pants insulating me. The kids jumped straight over the patches, pointed it out, sing-songed “we are allergic to you.”

Still.

A hot shower was taken. A bed was slept in that was not my own sheets. A dog was greeted and patted. Hands were not washed with that After-Poison-Oak-Exposure-Gel of whatever it is that I will be buying a stockpile of for next time we go camping.

And it is still spreading. Well, Jeff corrects me, it is not still spreading. But it is still appearing. It doesn’t matter, whichever it is. All I know is that it is getting worse. And I know from my history that I am in for a long haul here.
I only have so much willpower and control not to scratch. I told Robin last night that I would Just Not Scratch. Ha. Hahahahahaha. Simple, except at 2am when I am half asleep and I turn over and there is that blazing itch. So I scratch a little here and a little there. And now, I feel like I am giving up.

I made a doctor’s appointment for this afternoon. 20 years ago, when I first met Poison Oak, on a hike with Jeff (“Let’s go off the trail, honey! It’ll be fun!”), it was so bad that after 2 months I eventually took myself to urgent care. A shot to the hip was delivered. Cortisone? Predisone? A steroid of some type. I don’t remember, but I do know that it helped.
I had a 10 year reprieve from the stuff until this past April. Like this time, it was a secondary contact, as I swear I did not touch the stuff. That time, I didn’t even see it. But I deduced that it might have been on some firewood that I bought to have a camp fire for the kids during spring break. You know, I never did get that fire started. I need to go to fire starting school, I suppose. Usually Jeff builds the fires, but he was off on a motorcycle trip and I had promised smores. I wrestled with that wood and nothing happened. Nada. Zip. So I went inside and we roasted marshmellows on the gas stove. But the damage had been done. Two days later, itch, scratch. Dammit.

Last night at 2am I lay in the freezing bath, laced with baking soda, with my book. I forced myself out when I was shivering with cold. Went to bed. I thought it worked well. I slept after that.

But today, more itching, a little more scratching than yesterday.

This may be enough to make me move out of California immediately. I hate poison oak. And I find it really hard to prevent. Touch-me-not, I can wrap my head around that. But do I have to avoid touching everything else too? Become an OCD camping freak?

Is there something I can eat or drink to make poison oak not like me? I have heard you can eat garlic (a lot of it) to drive mosquitos away (I am delicious in that area, as well, by the way). I am willing to chug down anything, to stink like garlic.

2 hours until my doctor’s appointment and I am so ready for that shot. GIVE ME THE SHOT! My kids will be so impressed when they see me happy to get a shot. Maybe it will make them more willing to get their immunizations and flu shots in a few weeks. Aha, a silver lining. I found it.

At least the kids haven’t gotten it. I wonder why. Jeff has it – he has it bad too, by the way. I have heard that being exposed early in life builds up their immunity. Maybe they are already immune. I hope so. Ava did get some spots when I had mine in April, but it was fairly minor. I don’t think Ben or Lily got it at all. Lucky ducks.

Until 2:30 then, I wait. I itch. I try not to scratch.